The (often hidden) Cause of Overwhelm

How a good boundary-keeping practice can save your sanity.

Let's talk about the beautiful, imperfect practice of boundary-keeping.

What's the point of a good boundary?

A good boundary is a clear distinction between what's okay and what's not.

In your business, it's a policy or process created to protect energy or creativity and clarify expectations. It covers how and when you prefer to be paid, your guidelines for communication with your clients, and clear expectations in case things go awry during your work together, among other things.

A good boundary is a kindness to yourself and others.

Whether everyone agrees with you or not, having the boundary (and keeping it) prevents uncertainty and miscommunications, as well as the surprise that comes with either. Kindness may seem like a soft word here, but being kind can also have an element of firmness.

A good boundary is a tool for energy conservation.

Think about it like a dam — your boundary absorbs the pressure of out-of-scope needs and extra requests like a dam holds water back. Instead of using all of your active creative energy to hold that pressure, the boundary does the work for you — ideally freeing you to put your energy elsewhere and into things you intentionally choose.

Clean and clear boundaries are wrapped into so many parts of our work and home life in inconspicuous ways. When coaching clients come to me feeling overwhelmed, boundaries are one of the first things we talk about.

I'm in the mood to workshop this one, so here's a list of questions you can start to ask yourself about your own lesser-known boundaries:

How do you approach your "focused" work time and your "non-work" time?

I don't want to ask about your relationship with your phone...but, I gotta ask (I'm walking the same path right alongside you, so there's zero shade here). Are you getting lost in the scroll during time you've committed to work? Are you getting lost in the scroll during time you've committed to not working? Our ability to feel satisfied by our work time and our non-work time is contingent on actually doing and enjoying both of those things.

If you feel like you're constantly in the grey area of unfocused urgency, it might be time to reassess your interactions during times when you have already committed to being present and doing something else.

I've started putting my phone in a second-floor cabinet during family time and in a first-floor drawer during my super-focused work time. I can't stop myself from looking, so I've created a physical boundary and removed the phone from my space. It's hard at first, but it gets easier!

How do you manage your time integrity with each activity?

This has always been a hard one for me. I perpetually tried to cram one more thing in before wrapping something up. One more photo edited, one more email written…you know the drill. The result? I was almost always late. Late to meetings, late to workouts, late to pick-up or sports practice. Because I was late, I was always in a state of heightened anxiety, and the amount of energy that goes into managing that razor-thin hold on your day's schedule (or apologizing for the results) is wild.

I had to rewire (still rewiring, by the way) my brain to the idea that closing down an activity isn't a sudden switch, but instead a slow transition. Building in that transition time means that I'm ending an activity earlier — well before I actually have to do a different activity.

Does this mean that sometimes I don't get as much done in a work session? Absolutely. But does it also mean that I arrive at my next activity in a headspace of presence and possibility? Most definitely.

Holding the boundaries of time integrity will aid you in holding your energetic boundaries too. When you show up as a grounded version of yourself, you make more aligned choices —business and otherwise.